You're right that I let things go by, that I could have tried harder on the presents. I'm sorry about that. I really am. But it doesn't change the fact that you submarined what I bought you, again and again, made long lists of what you didn't want, and showed your obvious displeasure with the things I tried to surprise you with. It was all part of your way of being controlling. Make me feel inadequate. Make be beholden to you. That was always your game, and it got worse with the years.>When was the last time you touched me?==> When was the last time I wanted to? I used to touch you all the time. I used to like touching you, and I think you liked it too. But when did you ever initiate sex? In all our years? Ever? Once or twice? Don't you lecture me about not touching!She grew angry with the first paragraph. Then she read the second. Then the whole thing again. Then again. Once more. Again. Over and over. The complexity of how it all went wrong hit her for the first time."Oh, Jeff,". He must be waiting. I entered restaurent and looked for that boy. His eyes sparkled to see me but asked professionally ,“Aaj aap akeli hai..bahar baithegi naa …”“Nahi , cabin mey, mera yaar aaney baala hai..”He guided me to cabin and I pulled him in…“Maaf kar de yaar… bahut kaam thaa ..nahi aa paaee…”“Pahle order bolo…” he pushed me away….”tumne ek bachche ko barbaad kar diya…”“Tera jo mann kare le aa….mujhe to tera lund hee khana hai…” I said and sat on bench..I lifted cloth fully up above waist, removed blouse and bra. Soon he came , kept plates on table and began to suck chuchi and palming of bur. I allowed him fun for some time and pushed him away. I unbuttoned trouser and pulled away lund. It was throbbing and I felt happy, skin was still intact…“Maa ko nahi choda….?”“Choda nahi…baaki sab kiya wo bhee baap ke saamne.. nanga kiya , khub rang lagaya bur ke andar bhee , lawda bhee chusaya.. aur maa ne chodne ko kaha ..”“To choda kyo nahi..” I continued fisting …“Maine maa ko bola.
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